I was at a gathering once and my husband asked me if I could fix him a plate. I said yes and got up to do so (plus, I was starving). As I rose, someone said to me, “you fix his plate? He can’t fix his own plate?”
I was a little taken aback and also a bit thrown off by her disgusted tone. I wasn’t sure what the big deal was and then I realized. Oh yes, a woman that fixes her man’s plate is non-empowered, non-independent woman, right? Because a woman that fixes her man’s plate is a servant, being taken advantage of, and has set society back by doing the task of a 1950’s housewife, right?
So, you want to know what my answer to this?
Yes, I surely do. Often. I cook him dinner, do laundry, I fold his clothes, and clean the bathrooms, the bedrooms, I vacuum, I mop, and all of the above in the home that we share.
Want to know why?
Because HE fixes MY plate, he does the laundry, he cleans the bedrooms, cleans the bathrooms, he vacuums, washes OUR dishes, opens the car door for me, washes my car, and takes care of our lawn.
It’s a give and take. We take care of each other.
Oh no, did I mention I do the majority of the cooking?
Guess what? He takes part in cooking as well.
Now, I know some people feel some type of way about this plate fixing thing, but I see nothing wrong with it if you both equally cater to each other.
It’s not even often that he asks.
Now, I am just as much an “I ain’t doing ish for someone that they can do themselves” type of woman as many others, but fixing a plate in my opinion is no big deal. It’s not like he has knocked me out and forced me to do it.
Do I believe that it makes me even better of a wife or less of a wife if I do or don’t (because half of the time he does it himself)? Nope, but hey it’s a choice.
Am I less of a strong woman during the times I do fix his plate? Nope.
If catering to the man that also caters to me makes me a weak, non-independent, non-empowered, and a woman that has just thrown society back 60 years, then hey, so be it.