You Think You Know Me, But You Have No Idea

Do you remember that show “Diary” on MTV where they would document the lives of different celebrities?  I loved that show because you truly got an insight on the daily lives of that celebrity.  At that time, I was obsessed with NSYNC, Aaliyah, and Destiny’s Child so I was always recording that show…on VHS.    The slogan they would always use was “You think you know, but you have no idea”.   That is something I’ve always related to.

I’ve felt misunderstood most of my life for many different reasons.

I come off as a shy person at first glance but once you get to know me, you see that I’m not.  I seriously don’t consider myself shy.  I’ll talk to people in grocery stores, department stores, random people in hallways.  I have no issue with that.   You will never see me be the loudest person in the room.  I don’t desire to talk over a room of loud voices frankly because eh why?   Nor do I always warm up that quickly to people.  It’s just how I am.  No explanation really necessary.

Folks sometimes say I look mean when I’m really not a mean person.  You won’t see me with a fixed smile on my face, but that’s just because that’s odd. 🙂

I’ve had people believe I was timid, but when they crossed me, they saw that I wasn’t.  Many have tried.  Few have succeeded.

There were people that thought I couldn’t be fun because I’m not loud (by choice) or a person that demands the room, but look at me and you’ll see me laughing and dancing.  You were probably too busy talking to notice and I was too busy subtly attracting attention. 😉

I’ve also had people call me sweet and innocent.   I am a sweet person if that is what you define someone that is kind and compassionate to their fellow human beings.   As far as the innocent part….ehhh if you could hear the words that come out of my mouth on a daily basis, your “innocent” theory would be squashed.  I’m not bragging about it.  It’s just the truth.   They say sugar and spice, sugar and spice.

People will often treat me as if I’m someone that needs to be protected or like I’m 10 years younger than I am I guess because of my quiet, kind, calm exterior.  I often get the “awww” thrown at me.  Also, people will call me the “nice” one  but to me that comes off as “oh she won’t do sh!t”.  Oh boo, that is so cute.  I’m nice but not a doormat.  I often don’t give people that are yapping like little chihuahuas the time of day because ehhh why waste my pretty little breathe, but believe me it can and it will happen.     Though I look 6 years younger than I am, I am very much 32.   I don’t think people realize how offensive it is to “awww” me.  They don’t always mean harm, but it’s condescending.  I am actually way too good with telling someone off until they feel like scum.

So who am I?  I am a million different things.   There are layers and layers to me.  I’m kind, fun, friendly, funny, witty, bubbly, conservative, compassionate but not a pushover or a child.

Don’t pinch my cheeks, pat my head, and treat me like I am a 2 year old.

Don’t baby me, don’t “aww me”, don’t think I can’t stick up for myself, and don’t think that if someone came at me the wrong way that I wouldn’t suddenly turn crazy because then that means you don’t really know me.


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