We’ve all gotten that text from someone that we swore we would never let back in our lives because the relationship/situation was way too toxic. It could be someone you just stopped talking to a month before, a year before, or even a day before lol. In that moment you have two choices: 1) Ignore 2) Respond. 3) Throw your phone out the window!!…j/k. 🙂
You shut the door for that situation for a reason especially if it was a toxic situation. It’s funny how the most toxic ones are the ones that try to resurface. Guilt? Psychosis? Stupidity? Who knows? Sometimes it’s innocent and they are simply just thinking of you. Maybe something reminded them of you. Maybe it’s your birthday. Sometimes it’s that they really want to get back in good with you and see you. Either way, beware that striking up a conversation can take you down a long road that you don’t need to trot back down.
So, what do I mean by toxic situations? I mean that it was straight up unhealthy. Some examples: He just wanted sex and didn’t want to commit, you were together, but cheating on each other, you did nothing but argue, there was physical/verbal abuse or maybe he was……MARRIED….
I’m going to pause on that last situation because I could go on for 30 pages about the level of toxicity that is in that type of situation…smh… and no, I’ve never been in that situation.
So, he starts calling, he wants to see you, he wants to send you a gift for your birthday, he wants to catch up. Sounds innocent enough? I mean, he says things are different or he just wants to be friends. If he is a truly reformed person and you all are different people, hey it could work. But, people never 100% change. Never…especially not in a matter of two days, two months, six months….a year…etc…
Oh and if he’s still married, honey girl….again, let me just sit here and pause on that….
So, you responded and he’s back in your life. Now he is showering you with gifts, romancing you, and paying you attention, but what else is he bringing? Before you know it, you end up back in the situation a few weeks later, you realize it’s the same old thing, just a different time. He is back to not fully committing to you, making excuses about why he hasn’t left the other chick, and you’re back to hanging around still..for what?
It’s so sad when we as women do not honor our self-worth and give people chances that truly do not even deserve our time. Love and sex cloud our judgement, but you can love someone from afar and sex ain’t that serious to completely allow someone to strip you of your happiness.
Maybe you just wanted to be held or feel loved and his attention gave you that. Maybe you thought this time YOU would be different and YOU could control how the situation goes. This could be so, but the truth of the matter is, toxicity has long-lasting effects in relationships. You separate from these types of situations for a reason. At the end of the day, this person is not good to have in your life even as a “friend”.
You can act as if you are okay with only having part of him, but you know you are not and now have gotten back way too deep and need to do some re-evaluation and get back out.
Please don’t get me wrong and say that I don’t believe that people cannot be reformed, but you know when someone is just not good for you. You know when someone doesn’t need to be in your life. We always know deep down, but ignore our gut. If he has made you feel lesser than, made you into a side-chick or adulteress, I mean how bad does it need to get to walk away?
Toxic waste is contaminating, causes injury, and is hazardous to the body. He is all of this to you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
The effects can be detrimental. Put on your protective gear, run, and move on with your life.